Do you ever find yourself asking the same question a thousand ways?

I have prayed and search many times how should I be serving God? I go through waves of feeling as though I am closer to God and times when I feel far away. I have times where I trust and times when I doubt. Yet no matter how many studies I do, sermons I listen to, prayers I pray I get back to the fundamental thought of .........how am I to serve you Lord? Whats funny is this week I have been again finding myself praying this prayer. For the first time the Lord has opened my eyes to the answer over and over and over (yes I am a slow learner) he has given me. He opened my eyes to the times in my life I have felt under the cover of the Lord, the times when I haven't wondered daily is this it, should I be doing more, which direction shall I go? He brought me to the times in life, life makes sense. It brings me to the moments when I have fully and totally given myself to being a wife and mother. When I have looked to Randy to lead us as a family. Not where can I serve and where can he serve, but where are we going together. Caring more about loving my husband and kids day in an day out instead of looking at how I can go out on my own and do "stuff". Now mind you "stuff" can be good, it can be serving others or working or visiting or generally doing, but that is not the times I am in the presence of the Lord. Sure I might do it in His name, but really I am neglecting what He has clearly given me. I think my issues come down to, really can homemade dinners, clean houses and families budgets really save souls. Is that living radically for Jesus? I don't know the answer, but what I do know is God has shown me that for His purpose, I feel the closest to His presence when that is my focus and stress and anxiety comes when I try to figure out what I can do for God. Truth is, He has it under control, he doesn't "need" me to do anything. I can offer Him nothing more then He has! I do know that I am called to be submissive to my husband and that I am to raise up my children in the Lord, I know I am to be my husbands helpmeet. Thank you Jesus for showing my what I thought was "that's it?" has been IT all along.