It has been a long few months in my life, from last July until Jan. I have had either a personal health or family difficulty every month and some months every week. I kept pouring out my cup a little at a time, and eventually my cup ran dry. I am speaking of spiritually. I knew I wasn't myself, I was inside my own head, question everything, letting old fears and insecurities to crawl in, slowly and slowly as my cup emptied into my circumstances and was being refilled with insecurities and fear. I didn't realize it but I was slowly letting myself slide away from my first love, God. I didn't even see it coming until I found myself ready to go back to life before I agreed to walk in his Love. The scary part is, it was making sense....it had seemed like circumstance after circumstance just kept being a reminder that maybe God called the wrong person, or the wrong time, or I heard the wrong callings... I mistook weakness in myself as a weakness in God. Then a week ago or so I see that my husband had put on the calendar, make no plans this weekend. He just said he was working on something. Come to find out he had got a hotel room at a local hotel, he made a mini retreat for me to reconnect with my first love. He prepared a set of videos and music for me to watch and listen and praise with. He knows I recharge with quiet. I just needed sometime to sit with my Savior, I need to put away the noise of the circumstance and let the lies slip away just long enough to remind who I am. I am NOT the insecure, fearful woman I used to be, I am a child of the King, I am a princess, I am the bride of Christ. I have a job to do that circumstance does not dictate, it is only dictated to me by my King and Father... I mistakenly believed for awhile that suffering was a sign of trouble or that I was doing it wrong, but reality I learned and was reminded that suffering is often how God gets our attention. Trouble is often something we have earned because it will strengthen and make me stronger in running the race of life. Jesus's circumstance did not dictate his value or his purpose, so therefore it does not mine. So now with more than 24 hours of doing nothing more than soaking in the word, it has reminded who is my hope, my peace, my song, my life. I was reminded that fear is nothing but "faith in the enemy". It is OK to grow weary, because sometimes that is our reminder that we cannot do this in our own strength, as long as we remember to plug into the Word of God and draw in new strength. I am so grateful for husband who will not selfishly keep me as his bride, but lovingly tends to my relationships with my God. My cup is full, and I can now more effectively pour out to those I encounter.
As a woman, sister of 3 other sisters, mom to 5 girls, I am a bit of an expert in the matter of what a girl wants in a boy.... I was cooking today and listening to music and realized if boys are trying to figure out what a girl looks for in a boy...listen to a couple of country songs...even if you HATE that type of music and think its cheesy...just listen. The theme is pretty consistent girls want to have someone who enjoys being with them and will fight for them. I can speak from experience, there is nothing more disappointing to a girl than being in a relationship with a boy and realize that they have gone from the butterfly first date to the 3rd or 4th most important thing in their day. The boy must be vocal regularly about the little thing that makes her stand out. As a girl it is so easy to get lost in the world, no matter how confident we seem, there is something magical that happens inside when someone notices things about us, that do have to do with something that will not change, our laugh, the sparkle in our eye, our spirit, our grit whatever it is that caught his eye, he must tell her often and not because he wants to get something in return, but because he truly feels alive around her. A girl just wants to know that the best thing about his day is seeing her. I knew my husband was the one I could spend the rest of my life with because he was my other half, we didn't have to see each other day but we wanted to. Bad day or good day, we knew it would end with the other person being their for them. Even if we were exhausted after work, we just sat together and watched tv, or drove around and listened to music just because we simply wanted to sit next to each other.
The second thing is fight for her. I don't care what a girl claims, a quick way to lose the girl is to just let her walk away or walk away yourself and show her you are fine without her. If you are having problems don't ask her to fix it all and don't ignore the problem. Be honest and let her know often that you love and miss her. Be as cheesy as a country song if you must. Romance is actually a lot more than flowers and candy, its hearing that he does know your favorite singer is Kenny Rogers and though he despises country music....he takes you to the concert and you laugh and he even sings along. He even tells his girl that he secretly loves a few country songs because the lyrics remind him of you and he listens to them even 20 years later. Its showing her that secret letter you wrote him that he saved because it spoke to his heart.
This isn't just for the dating crews...for a happy engagement or marriage it is the same. Dance with her in the kitchen even if you can't dance, take the car and fill it up with gas, even though she can. Tell her often she is your favorite person and share private jokes. Catch her eye in the crowd and smile just for her.
Trust me....I am surrounded by girls :). If you want to keep her ......enjoy her and fight for her.