Saturday, February 20, 2010

So much out of my hands

These days I feel like I am constantly waiting. Waiting for news from Liberia, waiting to see if and when we will become a family of 10, waiting for someone to buy our house, waiting to start our life in Texas. I can admit that I am a very impatient person. My personality consists of highs and lows. I can go from believing anything is possible to nothing is possible in about 5 minutes time. I wish this was something I could change, as I suppose life would be easier if I knew how to stay even tempered all the time. I have prayed for God to change me and he hasn't. I am consistently a huge dreamer who falls hard :) Randy would agree and thankfully after 15 years together he knows and predicts it. I am a person who will work 100% at something I feel like I have some control over. If I am asked to do something I will have it done immediately, I definitely do procrastinate much. However with all the stuff I am waiting on I can do nothing. When someone asks me to write a letter or call a senator I do it right away. However when the senator doesn't respond or the letter falls on deaf ears nothing changes. God is teaching me how to pray in all of this. Not so much rote prayers or it would be nice prayers, but bold prayers. The type you want to fall on your knees and tell God what He already knows...........I can't control life, and I don't want life to control me! And life here goes on :)

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