Sunday, October 5, 2014
Years ago in my teenage years I was going through a hard time and questioning why God would allow something to happen and my father told me to read the book of Job in the Bible to see if I could find some answers. I read it and not knowing the Lord it was confusing. I was stuck on the unfairness of Job's life. Fast forward a lot of joys and trials and growing with Jesus. These past few months of dealing with the rheumatoid arthritis have been trying both physically and emotionally. To go from someone who barely needed a Tylenol to someone who keeps going back to doctors to try new medications mixed with realizing this isn't going to end nor will I ever feel completely like I did before has been hard. So much changed so fast and its like I am finally getting to a point after 6 months of figuring out what I am doing. I have found myself very emotional this summer, crying at the drop of a hat, which is so unlike me! So today I was sitting in church and I began to think of what things I personally have walked through and started to see a pattern of trust growing through the trials. I thought of Job he lost his family, friends, health, financial security but he trusted God and God redeemed him. I remembered how he had been sifted, done in order to change him to bring him closer to God, what Satan had meant for evil God had used for redemption. I thought of the major sifting I have experienced, losing my mother, losing my fertility, walking through adoption and the issues that have come up, and now my health. Every time I have hit a time of sifting I have learned to trust the Lord. The loss of my mother taught me to cleave completely to my husband, the loss of my fertility taught me to lay down my idea of my "rights" and I was blessed with all the children I was meant to have, the adoption trials have taught me that none of us can walk alone and that often those difficult moments are what truly define family, and these health issues reminded me today that this life is temporary, I do not have this disease forever, I have it for a time and a purpose to one day be freed to live eternally with my creator. So today I told the enemy he cannot win this battle, for it was already one a long time ago with my King on a hill. I can be sifted, but all that will remain is the gold that Jesus gave me, the rest is temporary.