A Calling and a Cost

We had two of our children graduate from high school over the past few weeks and enter adulthood.  It has definitely been a time of reflection.  The time spent going through old pictures and reliving all the memories.  What I love about photographs is the reminder that though days can be long and hard and we all worry about what it all means for the future, that in the meantime, life is going along and happy times happen.  Sometimes we can spend so much time planning whats next or worrying about what is happening and what it means for the future that we can lose sight that life is happening regardless.  I read a book recently that said life is like a coin, you can spend it anyway you want but you can only spend it once.  All the moments I spent worrying about my kids growing up, some were veracious readers while others settled for reading the back of a cereal box.  Some spent hours creating while others preferred video games.  None were or are involved heavily in music or sports, which would often cloud my thoughts as I saw a Facebook post of another kids achievements.

Years ago God clearly called us to live a life different from the ordinary one we began.  We had the 2 children one boy and one girl.  Life circumstances told us that we would have no more and yet we felt we had it all.  Then a stirring in my soul would not let me stop imagining life with so many more.  But the cost....if you have ever looked into adoption or raised children in general you know the cost is a lot....  As we would say one more God would say 2 and as we would say only one more God would say 3 and then when we threw in the towel God said...one more...  It was a calling something we couldn't ignore if we wanted to.  However a calling always comes with a cost.  It cost Jesus his life.

As time went on we learned to adjust more by necessity than anything else.  It was clear with 7 and then 8 children we would not have the normal suburban life.  First, we would probably never fly as a family, so all family vacations were now within driving distance....in a hot stinky van sometimes....  Second, going out to a restaurant for dinner, lunch or breakfast would now be a special occasion many times it was once a year on Christmas Eve.  Third, yearly vacations were a thing of the past, as just finding a place to stay can break the budget when its times 10!  Fourth, shopping changes...new clothes are replaced with hand me downs... true story when my daughter was 12 and we were in a store shopping I told her to try something on and she informed me she had never tried on anything in a store before.....

To be clear we were making a decent income for the area, but when its stretched among 10 people it tends not to go as far.  However, God was faithful, we never went without a need and always have more then enough wants.  That hot stinky van has provided some of our greatest family memories.  The things that go on in this house are seriously podcast worthy...and maybe will be someday when it won't embarrass some so much :)  The point is...we didn't keep up with the Jones's, in fact they probably have filed a complaint about something one of my children have done in the neighborhood in the search for fun....  and life went on regardless, and not just life, but life in abundance. 

So realize if God has called you, it will probably feel radical, and it probably will be...  You will have to pay a cost...most likely in material goods or sanity..... You will probably not have all you want in the world and still be obedient and you will sometimes feel like the magician in Frosty the Snowman..saying "That's Not Fair" ......... but as life rolls on regardless you will start to see that it wasn't fair....you got to experience something so many people miss, you get to experience Jesus in the flesh still working today among us...you will see miracles, you will experience the peace that passes all understanding...you will watch the future unfold in a way you couldn't have planned..and you will realize you don't miss the many movies you never saw, the restaurants you didn't experience, the beaches you didn't step on as much as you thought you would.

Would it be different?

Teaching history to my children for the past years and being a news junky I have had this thought recently.... would it really have been different....  Being the mother of both black and white sons and black and white daughters I feel like I have a unique perspective.  Teaching history to young kids (and older) can sometimes put quite a dim light on the world's past.  It can be easy to see that there is pervasive sin in all cultures.  We even can try to put a happy spin on things that end not so happy....teaching the founding fathers, falls into the demise of Native Americans and slavery, or if you go further back as my 11 year old put it recently...let me guess the king comes to power says he will do good things but instead beheads people.  So in the news I fully support the movements in the news that have come forward for racial and gender equality.  I believe fully that we should not be oppressed or harassed due to our God given genetic make up.  We are ALL created in God's image.  However, after raising all these children from all over the place I have come to wonder, if men of European decent had not held power for so long, if perhaps women had the opportunity on a large scale to rule the nations generation after generation, would they have ruled differently, would we have avoided a gender gap or racism.  I am not so sure because I do not believe the problem is in the genetic make up of a person in so much as the problem we were warned about far back into the Old Testament....power.....pride.....

The Bible and history proves our genetics does not cause us to act in reprehensible ways, no one population is a consistent tyrant.  But it is clear to show that the amount of power we receive (or feel we have or feel we deserve) is at the core of the problem.  Watch someone rise to power (or in our current culture with out a royal class, we can call it fame) and watch the tyrant in us rise.  Try to challenge ones power or fame and watch the wars begin.  See in all of us is both tyrant and victim, to pull ourselves up we must push someone down. 

So while it seems bleak it has me thinking then how to we achieve this equality that we desire.  Biblically....loving one another as God designed and giving God the glory...humbling ourselves at the cross...not culturally, but really....  We are fooling ourselves if we believe that we have humbled ourselves in front of an almighty just God but can say things like "I would not let my child date a child of another race"  or "this cultural group is lame"  or  "all men are pigs" or "fill in the black race or gender or lifestyle is the cause of problems"  STOP  humbling ourselves requires ourselves to look in the mirror and realize if the people who look, think and act like you had the power historically and currently we probably would have made just as bad decisions.  We would have been drunk on power and fame and money.....  So as we embrace these movements towards equailty lets also turn to Jesus and find the only true way to equality, humbling ourselves in front of our creator and truly looking at others as God's creation and loving each other. 

Roots

If there is one thing I have always envied its the people who know where they are from. For example, some people are born and bred country life folk...they can farm and care for animals, they get rejuvenated from the outdoors, they wouldn't want life any other way.  Or on the opposite extreme there is the city folk, they LOVE their city.  They can get from this place to that place and know which places are the best.  They are street savvy and usually seem tough or edgy.  They can't see themselves ever leaving the city they love.  See I grew up in the middle and still live in the middle...suburbs...don't get me wrong lovely places.  But they lack the feel of either extreme.  Most kids don't feel tied to their suburb.  They don't have all the space of the country to free roam but also lack the character of the city.  We have all our standards, McDonalds, Walmart, Starbucks, chain grocery store... our parks all look alike only the playground is arranged differently.  So while its not bad, its also not the thing stories or songs are made of.  Suburbanites often move town to town with no feelings of nostalgia...but here is the catch....a suburbanite lifer like myself cannot go county or city without looking like a poser.  Why...because I did not live my life soaked in something that has roots....family farms have roots...small towns with multi generations have roots...cities have roots...but suburbs are more of a newer phenomenon in history.  They lack roots they are like the nomads of lifestyles.  The weird thing about them that I have found is they lack commitment. 

So as I have been reading my Bible, I saw a stark similarity with Spiritual walks.  We have those who live their faith out loud, there is no doubt they love their Jesus.  They have a history and roots with this King of Kings, they can't imagine a moment without Him.  Their are also the other extreme they don't believe or they don't care to find out what they Jesus is all about...but if we were to be honest most people including myself a lot of times park ourselves in the spiritual suburbs.  We have your standard church attendance, own a Bible, send our kids to church programs, but there is not a passion for anything.  Its comfortable, so comfortable that not only can we sometimes forget many times we actively forgo our faith.  Our roots are social not spiritual, therefore its easy to pick up from one church and move on to another if its not meeting our expectations.  Yet many church goers and even some who don't go would admit the same thing I said at the beginning envy those who are sold out...those who walk out in faith or the Word is always on their lips and they really live it out. Those who don't just tote the words of Jesus around, but live the life too.  We feel like a poser if we "act" like those people.  So we sit back and live in our suburb faith.

Its doesn't have to be this way though...it all starts in our head and in our feelings... The truth is, if I want to be a country girl or a city girl I need to stop doing the same old same old...I need to make a choice to pick up from where I am and move forward into something new...something uncomfortable...  Then I need to learn from as many people as I can..surround myself with those who are living it.  I need to step out in faith and buy a chicken or get on that subway...am I going to mess up, yep...am I going to get lost...yep...but the second time I won't and the more time I purposely invest in my new reality the faster I will acclimate.  When my family sees my passion they will too want to know what I am doing...here begins the roots....so if you are in the suburbs of faith (or life) and you want more...take a purposeful step out and start becoming the roots.