Why don't they listen!

Sometimes the things I see in my children's life that drive me crazy end up teaching me about my relationship with my heavenly father.  Just this morning I had 3 incidences in my house in which I said out loud if people just listened in the first place they wouldn't be in these situations.  Let me explain, see a certain child lost a shoe.  I tell the children to keep their shoes in a common closet so they don't get lost, but this child tends to kick off his shoes wherever he happens to be.  So he wanted to come to the store with me but he couldn't find his shoe and so he had to stay home, which made him annoyed with me for not waiting longer.  Another child has been going through a lying/stealing phase.  We have rules about both of these items that this child choose to ignore at the time.  Now their is consequences and the child is very upset with me because of this.  The third child has lost something that I have been clear for a long time to keep in a certain place, but because they choose to keep them some place else they have lost it and they are angry with me that I will not stop everything and look for it or buy them a new one.  See if I were to go back in each of their lives in a crazy time machine and each were to simply follow what I told them, the first would have shoes and have had a good trip to the store, the second would be enjoying a beautiful summer day and be in good graces with her parents and siblings and the third would have no concerns other then what they want to do and would have not acted disrespectfully to others.  In other words, when we do just exactly as we are told, life is much better.  As I sat in the car on the way to the store stewing over the ironic fact that every time a child chooses to disobey me, they end up angry with me I began to think about myself.  The times that I know I skirted the biblical way, or being honest totally disobeyed something I know is very clear about God's nature.  When I used the its no big deal excuse with God, or the I am not perfect idea to justify growing farther from who God created me to be I denied the truth about who God is.  Just like I know with my children, my Father knows with me.  He hates sin not only because of the action but because of the fall out.  Its not the moment of anger that does the most damage, its the feelings it leads too or its not the doing this one time that kills the soul, its the lingering thoughts and memories.  God knows life is happier when we live in his image.  When we live good, honest, humble lives not only is God honored and our testimony saved, but our lives are just calmer, more peaceful and more enjoyable.  Now if I could just remember this post the next time we are running late because a child can only find one shoe.......

The Mountain

I have been following the news about the Yazidi's in the mountains of Iraq.  Many are Christians who are being persecuted and killed.  These people are stuck on the side of a mountain in sweltering heat with no water and no food, knowing going back down means certain death for them and their families.  Most know that even if they convert to Islam they will be killed anyway.  Women have been abducted and sold as slaves.  This will literally be the hill that they are dying on.  The irony that our Savior dies on a hill for these people and now in his name they will find the same fate.  This will be a defining moment in history between the tragedies in Syria, Iraq, Israel, Gaza and Ukraine. This will be what the future generations read about in textbooks and think how did they allow this to happen, the same way I did when I read about the holocaust. I have read it and thought how did other countries go about their normal life while the Jews were in concentration camps?    Now here I am in this generation going about cleaning, cooking, watching tv, taking the kids swimming and going about life while these brothers and sisters in Christ are desperately clinging to life on the side of a mountain for the name of the Savior we share.  At church on Sunday as we sang the worship songs my mind drifted to the mothers on the mountains who are crying out the same name I sang.  I thought about my hills vs her mountain.  Yes God hears it all, but at that moment I saw the size of my hill in comparison and I prayed for her, I sang because she couldn't, my trust in Jesus and faith in my Savior grew because she is my living example of faith.  If faith can put you on the side of a mountain clinging to life while under terrorist threats and you still claim your God, then do I have to wonder if his words are true?  These people have shown the world that their God is bigger then their circumstance.  They understand that to live for Christ is good, but to die for Christ is even better.  Because they understand we are passing through, this is not eternal, this is temporary they are able to sit and wait.  Someday they will come down from that mountain and we will hear about the Corrie Ten Boom of the Yazidi's who prayed with those losing hope, we will hear about the Brother Andrew's who risked their lives on the mountain to bring the Gospel.  We will hear stories of how God worked a miracle and hear about the many who left this temporary home and are now with Jesus out of pain and fear, hearing our Savior say well done good and faithful servant.  It has taught me to keep my eyes on whats eternal, it has shown me the ultimate faith in the face of persecution, it has given me a great appreciation for my freedoms and has shown me how better to pray for the world.  What is your hill or your mountain, were you placed where you are in this time and place to show your faith boldly, to use your freedom to pray or give, to get the gospel to someone else, to carry another's burden, to ask for help

Hands

The other day I looked down at my hands and it made me think.  One of the ways the rheumatoid arthritis has effected me has been the changes I can see in my hands and fingers, not tremendously noticeable unless I point it out, except that I can't wear my wedding rings until I get them re-sized.  However as I looked at my hands I thought about all the things my hands have done, they have held my mother and fathers hand as I began life, they held the steering wheel as I learned how to drive, held the books as I stepped on campus for the first time, held the keys as we moved into our new home,  they hugged someone who was lonely, held the hand of someone dying, gently touched touched the faces of my newborn babies, fed those who were too young to sick to feed themselves, carried my adopted children home, wiped the tears of my kids when they were hurting, embraced my husband, graded the papers my children completed, folded the laundry and cooked the meals that keep the house moving, turned the pages of my Bible and folded them in prayer.

I don't know what the future holds and how my hands will hold up....but I pray I will use them to fix the veils on my daughters wedding days, use them to fix the tie on my sons', hold a grandchild or 12, clap at my children's graduations, wipe the tears as they move to their own homes.  So many days to embrace!  I challenge you especially on a long hard day when you feel like you haven't made much of a difference in life or when you feel like you are just "fillintheblank" and nothing special, take a look at your hands, what have your hands already accomplished, what more awaits them.

What makes a family?

I love the impromptu moments in life.  Tonight I was sitting around with my kids and we got on the topic of childbirth (only the girls were with me).  I told them all the gory details of birth, the stuff only a momma can share, that from the looks of their frightened faces told me I may have shared too much....but better to be prepared someday!  Anyway after a lot of laughs we started talking about memories we had about the kids baby (or since a few weren't babies when we adopted them) little kid years.  All the poopy diaper disasters, the stories of ill timed vomit and the crazy dance moves only a preschooler can come up with had us all all roaring with laughter.  Its funny how the most mundane days become the best memories.  Its stuff only a family can share because we lived it.  Some of it would embarrass us if we told it to someone outside the clan, other things were had to be there moments, that others would not find half as hilarious as we do.  But mostly it reminded me why I am spending most of my adult life raising 8 kids from all over the world, because these the moments that make us.  Its the one's who remember the crazy thing you said or did, the chorus of "OH YEA!" when someone starts a story with do you remember when....   There is something special about people remembering the moments that defined us.  So many kids grow up in foster homes or institutions going from one caregiver to another, no one knows their story, or their story is a piecemeal work of an old picture or a fragment.  A family however remembers the cute stories, the messy stories, the crazy stories, the I am glad you survived that stories.  All of our kids will have a dad and a mom who will be crazy excited every time their lives change, crying as they graduate remembering seeing them struggle over that math problem or watching a wedding with anticipation as we remember the first dates.  A mom and dad who can't wait to squish the cheeks of the grand kids some day and share the memories of them to their children.  Talking over the memories I realized life is fun, crazy, messy, heartbreaking, and meant to be shared.  Family is who you make memories with, who loves you enough to laugh about the bodily fluid that landed on them or smiles when they think of your crazy past.  Sometimes its biological, sometimes its adopted, sometimes its the friend who did not officially move in but was there all the time, but its always who is present and witnessing the current to most likely laugh about later. Or maybe its just my strange bunch of humans that bless my life....because seriously some of our memories are kooky.....

Memory Lane

Back to regular blogging :)  Today I got a surprise in the mail.  My father had sent a box filled with old pictures from my childhood and all sorts of old report cards, tooth fairy letters, Christmas lists I had written. I spent the afternoon walking down memory lane.  Somethings made me laugh, like my insistence to the tooth fairy that for my first tooth I wanted a Susan B Anthony coin, and then for my 5th tooth I wanted gum and 10 dollars.  Others made me tear up, like an old book my mother read to me all the time as a child that when I saw the pictures my eyes filled with tears. Even typing this I had to pause and go wipe away the tears.  I had so many memories flood me as I looked at the old pictures of me and my siblings and the early days of my marriage.  Why is it we only appreciate things after they have passed?  Or maybe its just me.  I remember during those days thinking everything was so normal or even dull or frustrating.  I used to live so close to my parents and siblings that we would get together for every holiday, weekend, bbq.  I would meet my sister at the park so our children could play.  I sat in my basement and sang songs with my brother. When anyone needed a sitter, family was just there.   It was all I had ever known and yet my heart was drawn to see the world and experience new things.  After my mom died part of me wanted to leave the painful memories and make new ones.  So we moved away 8 years ago.  I can see how great it was for me in many ways.  It made me take chances and learn how to be independent.  In some ways I look back and regret that I didn't stay, that I let those connections fall.  What I have learned though is no amount of close friendships can replace family, even if you argue or don't see eye to eye, family is family.  You have a red thread that passes through that binds you together forever (or maybe this is just the Italian in my family blood).  Even now I am guilty of missing the moment.  Held back by frustration or fears I neglect to think about 10 years down the road when we pull out the pictures how precious these days are.  I forget that those strong bonds my mom and I had through a book or a hug trumped any bad day.  That for my children I may make mistakes, they will make more but someday they will pull out a picture or a book and remember how much they loved.  I need to learn how to enjoy the moment and stop seeking the future and missing the past.  I think that for me living like this is much easier.  I am a deep feeler, I have a hard time shutting off my emotions unless I can box it out in my mind.  The hardest stuff I tuck deep away.  My dad use to describe me as a soda bottle, I keep stuff in and push it all down but sometimes when things get shaken up everything comes out.  I think its what makes me such an introvert. So anyway, I encourage everyone to stop today and look around and take it in.  These are the pictures in 10, 20 and 30 years you will look back on with nostalgia, make sure you enjoy them!

Change the WORLD part 8

In our world we see everything done to the extreme, we have xgames and extreme home makeovers.....somehow we have bought the lie that its not good unless its extreme.  Its an easy lie to buy, I do it all the time, I can't run a marathon, so really is going on a walk going to really matter??  I can't end world hunger, save all the children, fix the countries problems, is the little I can do really going to matter??  I am only good at one strange thing, how can I make any difference?  Here is where the lie is......YES YES YES you can change the world.  What we need is not some superhuman super hero to fly in and save the day, we need everyone doing what they do best to the best of their ability and they need to work together as a team instead of working side by side in competition. Still don't believe 1 person can change the world....George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa......Each of us has a story we have our personal world changers....people who along our journey stood by us, taught us something, guided us, loved us, carried us.....

Trusted World is committed to going and meeting people where they are whether its on the streets, in the homes, in a hut in Ethiopia or a suburban home in Allen, TX. It is bringing them immediate relief through food, water, clothing, aquaponics systems and medical equipment, while laying the foundation and creating real sustainable relationships with those they come in contact with.  It is not replicating working agencies, rather it is finding the source of the hardships through caring relationships and finding them the local resources or preparing them to pull themselves out of the situation to go on to be another world changer.  As a practical example Randy is not just handing out food to the homeless he is finding out why they are homeless. Sometimes its as simple as a lack of transportation for work that a bus pass can help.  Sometimes its the lack of information they have about local shelters or rehab centers.  Sometimes it is someone who truly feels like no one cares.  One thing I have learned from my life journey is every person needs to feel like they belong to something.  We as humans need to feel needed.  It is that drive to fulfill a need that often motivates us to do things that are difficult.  

Right now I want to encourage EVERYONE who reads this to join our awareness campaign, its easy!!  I encourage you to take a selfie of yourself (or if you are technically challenged like me have someone take your picture) holding up one finger (stick to the pointer finger people, G rated!) showing that 1 person has changed your life or that you have changed at least 1 persons life.  Show your belief that 1 can change the world.  Then post it to instagram or facebook and put #1canchangetheworld (and if you want to bug teenagers tell them its pound sign....1canchangetheworld) Here is my example ... 

And if your self conscious put a kid in the picture doing the same, that way it draws attention to their insane cuteness..... I encourage you, if you use facebook and a person who changed your world is also on facebook, to tag them and let them know in some way they are a world changer.  Also like us on facebook https://www.facebook.com/trustedworld and visit the website trustedworld.org

Lastly I encourage you to be a world changer everyday.  Smile at the person at the checkout, call that person on your mind, meet your neighbors, help someone with their groceries, get to know your kids friends, volunteer at a soup kitchen, coach a local sports team, take dinner to a person in need, give a family adopting your support, make dinner for the family and sit together and talk.  Still not sure it matters???  Go back to part one....this all began because a girl and a boy met and her mother baked him a birthday cake and her father helped him write a resume and taught him to tie a tie. This journey we are on involves me an introvert raising my kids to the best of my ability.  Now my oldest daughter is working and using part of her paycheck to support a child in another county.  When we pass on kindness and love its contagious and others want to do for others and this is the way we start to end the injustice in the world.  Get engaged in people's lives teach them what you know, stand with them when they are alone, be a real community. Stay tuned in the future....we are about to change the world!!

Change Part 7

We are coming up towards the end of this series, we moved from  Texas to northern IL and then back to Texas within 3 years.  When we moved back to Texas we joined up with a new church plant.  Part of the outreach they were doing was bringing food to the homeless.  For years while my passion had been orphans, Randy had been feeding the poor and homeless.  This was the perfect opportunity for him.  The food came from extra's from a food bank.  Basically when the office was closing Randy took the leftover bread, cakes, fruit, veggies or anything else that would go bad while it was closed and deliver to the local area where those in need gathered.  He and a team of people would fill up his car and drive it out every Saturday morning.  We collect grocery bags and then let the people choose the food they need or desire.  And so this began a few years ago and even when the church plant closed he had developed relationships with these people and continued to go out faithfully every Saturday with is team of guys.  Sometimes they bring bagged lunches or Christmas surprises.  Its awesome to see how he has learned these guys he serves names and stories. Sometimes they need a pair of shoes for their kids and Randy will go out and buy a pair for them.  No questions asked.  He remembers what its like to not have your basic needs met.  He knows what it is like to go to school in the free shirt that came with your parents cigarettes because it was all you had.  He knows that buying a pair of sneakers for a teenager can make a huge difference.

During this time I felt that familiar tug.  I had heard about a girl needing a new home.  She was newly adopted from India, but her adoptive parent was not able to handle her issues and we offered to readopt her.  We went to the lawyer and began the process, she was in another state and we waited a few weeks.  Suddenly we did not hear from her adoptive parent anymore and their lawyer did not return phone calls.  Our retainer with the lawyer was running low and we got a devastating phone call.  The adoptive mother had some issue with the adoption and she would not be placing her with us, she had turned her over to the foster care system.  Again I felt like I had been foolish for looking at life with rose colored glasses.  Then  I saw the face of a little 7 year old girl in Bulgaria with special needs in an email.  I went to Randy and said I feel like we have room for one more.  He agreed and we inquired on her.  The agency said they had found her a home but had we considered a teenager since they were so hard to place.  Only 1% of teenagers available for adoption will find a home.  They sent me the picture of a 12 year old girl.  One moment to make a decision.  Someone gave Randy a chance in his teens.  Someone gave me a chance in my teens.  It was time for us to bring home number 8. We went through a long 18 month process, but last year our newest daughter joined our family.  I went to Bulgaria to visit with her and then Randy and Alex went on a second trip to bring her home.  We didn't empty an orphanage, but we did empty a bed and one more child will grow up in the safety of a family.  Our social worker says we are blessed because her adjustment has been so good.  For us we see the ups and downs and yet we are encouraged because we see the growth in her and the development of security.  She knows she will never walk alone.  She knows she matters.  She knows she belongs.  No we are not the richest family or most fun.  As you get older you come to see all of that revolves around relationship.  Fun,happiness, sadness, boring days are all relative and short term. Relationships and knowing you belong to a community is what lasts. Its what you celebrate the good with and carry through the bad.  It is what makes life LIFE.

So here we are now. The thread you follow from a determined homeless teenager who meets a girl to a father of 8 from around the world spending his free time serving the poor in the community.  Yeah he is pretty special :)  He has now had the opportunity to merge what he has been doing for years with a new nonprofit.  This organization called Trusted World has Randy in charge of its domestic programs.  I wish everyone could have walked this journey with us.  It has been an amazing ride even when it drives me to my knees.  In the last part I will talk more about what we are doing now and how you can join our journey.