Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I am

A follow up to yesterday's post.  So after all my over thinking I tend to then sway in my stance on who I am and what I stand for.  I find myself questioning the deeper question of who I am.  I am not one who enjoys conflict, and I have a heart that wants to make everything better for everyone. (I know...this is impossible) Due to this I want to be a people pleaser and so I am hesitant to say who I am in trepidation of people feeling like I am disagreeing with their choices, lifestyles, family choices...etc.  The truth is I have no strong beliefs that I someone know how to do it all the right way.  I even feel like as I am about to type this I must make a 1000 disclaimers on who I am not, to not offend or discourage another.  Deep breath.....here is my list of I Am's

I am a Christian woman
I am a happy wife
I am a stay at home mom 
I am a homeschooling mom
I am a  writer
I am an optimist
I am a teenage mom and young bride
I am an adoptive momma
I am a big dreamer
I am a homebody


And exhale....... Its strange, why is it so hard to say who I am. It is not that I am embarrassed, I am proud of my life.  Its that in this day and age usually through the hidden identity of the internet, people can turn any I am into a controversy, a sinful thing, a problem, a reason to discourage another.  It is encouraging to see the list, its almost a way to re prioritize my mind.  If this is who I am, what am I going to do about this.  What in my life do I need to embrace and what do I need to let go?  Where should my focus be and where should I close the door because I am trying to live up to someone else's idea, expectation or approval?  I encourage you to make an I am list and share with me!!  We can be I am's together :)  No judging I promise! 

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