A New Year

As I sit up with my 6 year old, who doesn't get the whole stay up late sleep in connection yet.  I have some time to reflect on 2012 and think about 2013.  Last year was a good year here at our house.  We talked with the kids yesterday and realized that it was a year of fun and good family times.  It was a year we learned that we would grow to 8 children!  For some of our children it was a year of some major growth, both emotional and physical.  For me it was a year of learning to reflect on what God has already provided and start to take comfort in the reality that He will provide.  I am also learning that their is no magic formula to anything in life.  Most people who seem like they have it all together or know what they are doing are flying by the seat of their pants hanging on to life.  Its pretty much how Randy and I have always lived, thinking planning, but then shrugging our shoulders and jumping in.  Now I can see that those jumps, whether into good or bad are what have defined our lives.  I see my older kids getting to those stages in life where the jumps are smaller, but none the less anxiety provoking and I am so proud to see or hear them ready to jump even when the outcome isn't certain.  I am a HUGE fan of play it safe, yet when God is ready to move me He gives me the courage to jump.  I used to be very sad at the thought of my kids growing up and moving on, while I still struggle with the whole how do you handle a Christmas when they can't come home!!  I am understanding more and more that God will have a new season then and I can't understand it yet because He has held my hand and asked me to trust Him.  I remember when we started the adoption process the first time we were sure we could ONLY handle a newborn adoption.  Now we are about to welcome a 13 year old and we are ready to JUMP!  So here is to 2013, a year of recognizing the power in walking hand and hand with my Savior.  Happy New Year!!