In His Time

We sang the hymn In His Time at church on Sunday and it really struck a chord in my heart. I started to look back at my family and how it only happened in His perfect timing and how many tears I shed over feeling abandoned when really He was moving it all in this direction. The desires of my heart he fulfilled in perfect timing.

At 16 I met Randy, I had been a bit (OK a lot) boy crazy in younger years and I always had this desire to have a boyfriend, one that would last! Without going into too much detail, we found each other just in time for both of us to steer each other out of paths that would have led us into no good places.

I always had wanted to have a family young, and so while it was scary finding myself pregnant at 19, I can't say I was disappointed. However that pregnancy quickly changed into not what I had pictured. I vomited daily for 4 months, lost 17lbs and was attached to IVs at home. At 6 months labor started and to stop it they gave me medication, only too much and I ended up in the respiratory ICU with my family being told we didn't have much time (me or Alex). Yet in the last minutes, after the priest gave me my last rights, I was healed without explanation. I carried Alex till 38 weeks and she was born and she was perfect and healthy.

Fast forward 2 years I find out I am pregnant and I knew despite the past pregnancy I was supposed to have more kids. However 8 weeks into the pregnancy and 2 weeks before Christmas I lost that baby. I cried for good to remove this desire from my heart. I cried for my loss.

However, just after New Years, I see the test turn positive and this time its a keeper! Things were proceeding just as I had imagined, until I was 34 weeks and I had incredible abdominal pain and went to the hospital. I had HELLP syndrome and basically my liver and kidneys had stopped working. The only cure was to deliver AJ and so 6 weeks early and 4lbs he arrived. I remember crying in the hospital room as he was in the NICU thinking I would never have thought I would have a critically ill baby. He had tubes and wires all over him. They said it would be weeks until he could come home with us. I sadly left the hospital a few days later, leaving a part of me behind........and yet in His perfect time in 5 days he was ready to come home. He is healthy and strong and amazing.

Then came the news from the doctor that another baby would risk both my life and the babies and so we made the decision to not have more children. I was 21 and devastated, I knew I had a calling in my heart for more children and yet my body couldn't cooperate.

Fast forward to 2005....after years of prayer and tears for God to take the desire from my heart, Randy agrees to adopt, 1 newborn. We were chosen for 2 children a 3 year old boy and 1 year old girl. However the boy ended up having too many issues that would have not been good for him or our other children. I was heartbroken, I felt like I was failing God, or not a good enough parent. I contemplating giving up, but something inside just wouldn't let go and so we waited. In Dec. 2005 we get a call, we have been chosen, the baby is in IL and a preemie just like AJ. We are waiting on photos and the clearance to travel. We sent the mom flowers, told our family and friends and wait..... 2 days later they call and the mom has decided to keep the baby and move into a local shelter. Again I cry and yet I knew in my heart that it was her baby all along.

Finally Jan.06 arrives and we hear about Caley and Riley, the agency choose us. We get excited, but then the birthmom asks to find a family in Canada and so we are sad, but then 3 weeks later changes her mind and again we are chosen. We hear that on Thursday, by Sat. we are in Georgia picking up our 2 girls. I had cried but He had known.

By Jan of 2007 the familiar stirring had risen in my heart again. Randy had traveled to Africa and Romania and spent time with orphans. I had found a best friend in HollyAnn who was running an adoption program through Liberia. I talked to Randy and we decided 5 was a good number so we would attempt, 1 newborn adoption. Literally the next day we get a phone call from the pastor in Liberia and find out about Augustus a 3 year old. I talk to Randy and think yes this is number 5. A few weeks later we find out Augustus has a 5 year old brother and 8 year old sister. We talk and decided 7 is too many and adopting a 5 and 8 year old too daunting. Again I am sad I wonder why God brings these things to me when there is nothing I can do. I take Alex to cheerleading practice and come home to find Randy saying, I called HollyAnn and told her we will take all 3, he knew we were supposed to. So we sell the car, sell the house and prepare for 7. In March HollyAnn calls to tell me that their parents returned and removed them from the orphanage. I cried, I was devastated, I looked at the empty beds, the big van and wondered what God was doing. I knew though it wasn't the time to give up.

A month later HollyAnn calls and tells us that 2 brothers were brought in aged 3 and 5 months, was I interested. I agreed and we again were excited. A few weeks pass and I am on the phone with HollyAnn and she says that a girl was supposed to be adopted but at the last minute the adopted family hadn't been able to continue, I find immediately coming from my mouth, we will take her! Then said oh wait I should talk to Randy first.....long story short, here was Hannah. And so in Sept. 2007 JD, Zeke and Hannah all came home and the 7 had arrived....

Which brings us to now, we had said if Keith ever became available for adoption we would proceed. He did and we wait, but this time is different, I don't have the same tears, I don't have the same wonder on what God is doing, I just know that regardless of what He has planned it will be perfect and be in His time. If anyone feels that stirring or feels a longing or a calling don't give up press on even when it doesn't look like what you planned. God promises to complete the work He has started. It may not look like what you thought, but His thoughts are above ours.