When did we stop??

I learn a lot from watching my kids. Now that they are getting a little older its fun to watch the excitement contained in all of them about the future. I love that most any teen you meet has this energy that allows them to pursue anything that piques their interest. They like music, they play an instrument or sing their hearts out. They like sports they go out and play and run as if they were in an Olympic event. Take a minute to watch a bunch of 10-13 year old boys run no matter if they are big or small, fast or slow the determination on their faces and the quick pumping of their arms, you would think they are in serious training! The excitement that comes with getting old enough for a "real job" or getting that first drivers license permit. I think we all remember the excitement when you first have your license and someone asks you to run to the store...alone!! Ohh the freedom we felt, the radio on the station of our choice, the newly printed license sitting in the new wallet you now have to carry.... So then what happens, when do we stop believing in making our lives our own. When were we told we can't, we won't or we aren't and when did we start believing it. When did the security of the mundane take over the excitement of the unknown? Its our one life. In the end it will matter who we have touched, and who is by our bedside. Famous or not, rich or poor, we all end up exactly the same, we enter the world with nothing and we leave the world with nothing. It all amounts to how much we lived while we were alive. I say all this as the most security routine person alive! There is some value to knowing how to stay orderly and disciplined and a place for it. However I somehow believed the lie along the way that said, you are getting older, you cannot do this or that, your time for this or that has passed. I don't run through life because somewhere along the line I sat down. I believed the lie that it matters to conform. No one wants to be the awkward lady, but us quiet ladies secretly envy the ones who aren't afraid to stand out be bold and laugh! I read about ladies who live life with gusto and think back to when I believed I could be or do whatever I worked hard enough for. Its time to get up and run, let the kids energy be contagious! Its my one life, I don't get a do over!! So run people!!! Dance, laugh, enjoy :)

I am very good at...

While spending a little quiet time with a cup of tea this afternoon and checking in on all of my favorite blogs, it occurred to me. I am very very good at reading about how very very good many of you are at wonderful things! I read about amazing crafts people make and then about amazing homeschooling ideas and then I read about amazing dinners people are making....Yep that's the extent I read it :) I think ohhh that is snazzy or that is a great idea! Then I close up my computer and I go back to doing what ever I was doing. So I salute all you crafty, baking, curriculum making, spotless home ladies of the blog world. You are my inspiration and maybe after I get the dog off my feet and my hiney off the couch I may just may try one of those delightful ideas :)

Hey, when did I forget I liked that....

The other day I was taking our little puppy out at night and while waiting for her to....well do what puppies do....I looked up at the stars. It was a cool night but not cold and I suddenly remembered, I love looking at stars, its so relaxing. I thought about how many times I would sit outside or as a kid bring out some binoculars with my sister and check out the stars. Later we were talking about Florida and I was telling the kids how much I love the beach. A REAL beach, with warm sand, the sounds of seagulls and lapping waves. Then again I was thinking back to so many afternoons when I would go outside and watch the clouds form and drift, especially when storms were rolling in. Then at some point life became very busy....maybe it was the whole going from 2 to 7 kids in a couple years or something, but I stopped doing those things. I stopped doing them for so long I actually forgot I enjoy them! I also enjoy reading and taking baths, but again those have gotten lost in the busy! So I am making a point this year to get back to them. To take time to relax and look at the stars, read a book, watch the clouds. Life has got to be intentional or else it gets lost!!

Christmas

We had a very peaceful Christmas Day. This is the first Christmas in years there were no tantrums or tears. Granted the weeks leading up to Christmas did include that, including a not proud parenting moment when I announced Christmas was cancelled and I was taking down the tree.... Make me feel better tell me we have all had those days! However the actual Christmas Eve and Christmas Day went off without a hitch. I am thinking this morning about Keith, whom we have waited almost 4years to bring home. His birthday is this week, he will turn 14, he has missed another Christmas and another birthday and I have to say as much as we hold out hope, I have started to tuck away the fact that he may never come here. For the last few years we have hung up his special ornament each year and we will continue to, as he is our son in our hearts. Now onto the tasks God has given me for today...praying for no post Christmas meltdowns! Merry Christmas to all who may read this blog :)

Persistence

Our adoption journey hasn't followed any path I planned. In so many ways that is the beauty of it. After AJ was born I wanted to adopt a newborn, I love those baby stages and it was what I knew and what I was comfortable with. I would read too many stories of kids with "issues" and the problems and things that seemed too hard. Then there was the pride I knew I was a good mom, I had 2 great kids who listened and were pretty well behaved. Then we finally got on "the list" to wait to be chosen by a birth mother. A few months passed many times we got a call that said they are considering your family and then another call saying sorry you were not chosen. We prayed Lord we will take any baby regardless of race, situation or handicap. God heard us and sent us 2 toddlers, then another toddler, preschooler and school age girl. During our wait we often said things we will not do....adopt an older child (did it), adopt out of birth order (did it), adopt an abused child (did it), adopt a child with emotional issues (did it times many only did know it at the time!) God brought us all the I can handle that situations and you know what....its not easy but its beautiful. This time of year while full of fun and joy is also sensory, emotional capacity overload for a few of our kids and usually ends with a lot of behavior issues, but each year I see them grow emotionally and mature and I see the real miracle of Christmas, that like them we are chosen by a God who loves to lavish us with more then we ask for. He gives us the energy to persevere when it seems your forgotten or lost. This year again we put on our persistant attitude, without Keith here and without Baby we wait for the one whom God has chosen for us. I have learned to not guess if it will be an infant or a teen, a boy or a girl. I don't know if we will always have 7 or if we will be parenting 10, 15 or 20 more. I know I will keep telling God we will take any little one that you will allow us to parent and he will keep the beautiful blessings flowing, because as we know, thats what a father does.

Bathrooms

In a family like ours no matter how many bathrooms there are in a house there is still a line. I know some people wonder if by homeschooling they get the same experiences as public school kids....well if one way is learning to stand in line and wait then yes they do :) We tell the kids during the week that they have to be up for breakfast and family devotions by 7:45 dressed and with their bed made. So usually by 7:15 the lines form. You can imagine the lines 2 to 3 kids deep dancing around waiting to get in and then we have the notorious ones who take FOREVER. People here they are in there and quickly get in line for another bathroom. Many times I will yell reminders to keep the line moving. Ahhh the things they make our family unique :)

Thankful

Its the time of year to reflect on thankfulness. We had a great family Thanksgiving. The new house was perfect because the kitchen and living room are attached and are big enough for us to all watch the Macy's day parade and cook! Last night I was laying in bed waiting to fall asleep and I was flipping through the channels and landed on Nightline. They were covering a story of 2 doctors who were working in Liberia at a hospital. I realized it was the hospital Zeke had been in shortly before we brought him home. I saw all the sick skinny babies that brought back memories of my 11lb baby being carried through the airport and put in my arms. He was so fragile, just recovering from Hep A. Anyone who knows Zeke now knows he is definitely not the small fragile type :) We actually say Zeke's bounce (like Tigger)! It made me reflect on just how thankful I am that we have hospitals, doctors and supplies. They commented that in Liberia there is 1 doctor per 100,000 people and in the US we have 1 doctor for every 200 people. We don't have to watch our children suffer with malaria or be told our newborn has a heart condition that could be cured if we had the surgery available. Liberia has one of the highest death rates for mothers in childbirth. I am not sure how God can use me in helping in that way, but I will be praying.